Blissfully married for just over 10 years.
Life is delightful, distanced from any fears.
We are fulfilled in our jobs and at home.
Two kids and a dog; our family has grown.

Things took a downturn when illness struck.
A shadow on the lung was just our luck.
Test after test and the condition worsened.
Medication and therapy, there was no end.

The love of my life has been told the worst.
Dealing with this we’re wholly unrehearsed.
Three months the doctors say she has left.
She says it’s like being the victim of a theft.

What can we do in the time that remains?
She has no appetite for trains or planes.
Do we just sit and stare in to space,
And take life at a much slower pace?

Or does she cram in as much as she can?
Should she make an end-of-life plan?
I’ll make happen whatever she desires.
To make it occur I’d walk though fires.

We must prepare our family and friends.
Those slighted, she’s keen to make amends.
Very keen to get her affairs in order.
She has no wish now to be a hoarder.

I ask what remains on her bucket list.
I cry as she says, ‘Just to be missed.’
She’s keen to arrange her own cremation.
I am speechless and full of admiration.

She wants to leave the kids some letters.
To be read when they’ll be feeling better.
She takes her time on those words of love.
Knowing they’ll impact like a boxing glove.

Her concern now is for me and my outlook.
She declares she’s glad she taught me to cook.
Her words, ‘your life will go on’ make me shudder.
Without her I’ll be a boat with no rudder.

I try to move us away from that awful vision.
Typical of her she is planning my provision.
I can’t engage in words about life without her.
Knowingly she says, “I will always be there.”

She’s feeling much worse now day by day.
I have few words to help, so I learn to pray.
She knows the end won’t be very long now.
To help her more, I just don’t know how.

Even when asleep I won’t leave her alone.
These minutes, hours and days have flown.
Ashamedly I can’t protect her any more.
It’s so painful staring at the lady I adore.

I want to lift her gently and carry her away.
And stop this happening, but I have no sway.
She tells me she loves me and always will.
I tell her the same as my adoring tears spill.

We hug so very softly because of her pain.
Knowing we won’t be able to do this again.
I hold her hand and I kiss her soft brow.
I wish it was me instead of her just now.

Our expectation was together we’d grow old.
The end is very close now, no need to be told.
A desolation descends, she is no longer here.
My life is purposeless, and I want to disappear.