I’m keen to know what a human being tastes like.
I’d eat it’s flesh with a steak knife and fork.
It’s got a texture that’s quite rough and lumpy,
They say its flavour is not dissimilar to pork.

I eye people lovingly, thinking tenderloin.
I greatly admire a rack of spare ribs.
I’d be partial to a well-set lady’s rump.
If there’s a wish bone I bagsy first dibs.

Watching a football team I can’t help but think buffet.
I’d love to tuck in to a rugby player’s thigh.
A loin chop freshly cut from Paul Hollywood.
And Fiona Bruce’s shoulder cooked by a Thai.

I’d like a display of human cuts in the butchers
I’d eat a human take-a-way if I was in a hurry.
With a portion of chips and mushy peas.
Perhaps even better, in a Rogan Josh curry.

A shepherd in a shepherd’s pie sound good.
Is a person’s belly really similar to Haloumi?
I’m now told its not, it’s like the flesh of a plum.
I just thought it might be squeaky, so sue me!