I prefer…
A nice creamy Guinness to a slap with bamboo.
A pint of Best Bitter to a heavy hitter looking at you.
A good strong Mild to a man gone wild.
A cold pint of Lager to a woman that’s riled.
A bottle of Pale Ale to a man looking for a fight.
An agreeable half of Stout to a chap full of spite.
A double Jack Daniels to a lady showing malice.
A gorgeous Pina Colada to a fellow who’s callous.
A glass of Sherry to an acquaintance who’s cruel.
An ice-cold Mojito to anyone who’s a fool.
An agreeable Red Wine to someone who’s a swine.
An expensive Gin and Tonic to anyone supine.
A Vodka on the Rocks to a complaint in your mailbox.
A chilled Pinot Grigio to a punch in the breadbox.