I’d only helped lady next door,
I kindly carried in her shopping.
I was accused of nefarious deeds,
A few of them eye-popping.

My wife’s jealousy was all consuming.
A red mist appeared from nowhere.
She headed to the cutlery draw.
I certainly wished I wasn’t there.

Happily I’d put corks on all the forks,
And I’d hidden all the knives,
I was fearful when I saw a potato peeler,
And that thing for chopping chives.

I backed away as she approached
With a soup spoon in her hand.
She bopped me on the head.
Now, this was a line in the sand.

With open palms I showed passivity,
I asked her to calm herself down.
Maybe the wrong move from me.
As I detected her deepening frown.

I said It would be best if I left now.
She swiftly handed me my coat,
And said she’d change the locks,
As she tightened a scarf around my throat.

I’m not stupid, I can take a hint,
But this has happened before.
She throws me out then relents.
The idiot I am, I go back from more.

We clearly have a volatile relationship,
Even though I wouldn’t play away at all.
I’m painted as a villain every time,
And I’m losing my wherewithal.

Jealousy is a dreadful trait.
It portrays a lack of trust.
If unfounded its extremely unfair,
When there’s been no wanderlust.