There was silence in church as the Vicar gave a sermon.
Then someone’s tummy rumbled quite loudly.
A child started sneezing, a lady had hiccups,
Then commandingly, a man belched rather proudly.

The Vicar gave each a sympathetic look,
Took a crucifix and blessed them in turn.
He closed his eyes and raised his hands to Heaven,
Noisily passed wind and said ‘That will help them learn.’