Hairy Harry and Wiry Will
Got collared by the good Old Bill
They’d been very bad it seems
According to one of the surveillance teams

They scammed old biddies of their savings
To feed their own repugnant cravings
They’d not a scruple between the pair
Not one ounce of allegiance to share

Each thought the other had been a grass
To get his hands on the other’s brass
Heightened by their feeble inexactitude
They both soon realised they were screwed

Off to court went Harry and Will
With no hope of escaping to Brazil
But two years each was all they received
Which left the old biddies rather peeved

They’d hoped for a longer incarceration
Maybe even a slow, painful castration
The biddies agreed to shape a plot
To hurt those no-good thieves a lot

They commissioned a thief to regain the takings
In turn he engineered two house break-ins
Loot recovered and extra for good measure
The old biddies regained their little treasure

Hairy Harry and Wiry Will served out their time
They joked that they’d paid little for their crime
But Harry and Will got their Comeuppance
In place of the loot, they found just tuppence