Oh I wish I could play an instrument.
I would love to play drums in a band.
Maybe rhythm guitarist, or lead at a push.
Perhaps the singer; long hair and tanned.

I would welcome the rampant adulation.
The raucous mosh pit below my feet.
Me in the white spotlight grinning.
Feeling my increasingly racing heartbeat.

Running to the tour bus after the gig.
Past fans excited at the stage door.
An overnight trip down the motorway.
Heading to Dover and the European tour.

I imagine myself on stage at Glastonbury.
Standing with bandmates taking a bow.
The crowd yelling for more and more.
Freddie Mercury at the side of the stage mouthing ‘wow’.

It’s a real pity it’s all in my imagination.
Drumming and strumming are just not my thing.
Sadly, I can’t hold a note to save my life.
Laying in the bath with a locked door is where I sing.