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Maybe I'm Weird
Maybe I'm Weird

I had my mum and dad cremated,
So they could be with me all the time.
We go everywhere together.
I know some think that’s a crime.

They are both in a lovely red urn,
The colour of Chinese flags.
I need to be very careful though.
I have another one, for tea bags.

I take them to work each day,
So I can keep them in my sight.
A colleague thought the worst of me,
And said to my boss, ‘It’s not right.’

I explained my emotional ties to him.
He was really quite understanding.
But told me to keep them in a drawer.
Not have them on the desk upstanding.

I took their urn to Egypt.
We had the most wonderful break.
I took them to a restaurant.
And we enjoyed a lovely steak.

They went with me to the cinema.
I reserved them their very own seat.
They are not very keen on sad films.
They prefer those more upbeat.

They used to love Peter Ustinov.
They were just taken by his smile.
So I got us all tickets,
To see Death on the Nile.

They’ll be joining me on a date next week.
I haven’t told my prospective date just yet.
I may leave it as a surprise.
As I really don’t want her to fret.

I’ll present the news to her,
When everything is stable.
‘Let me introduce my Dad, Frank,
And this is my Mum, Mabel.’

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