If I ever have to jump from a plane.
I’ll take the door frame with me.
Abseiling down a cliff is not my thing.
Walking down a path is my cup of tea.

Sky diving is for birds not humans.
I’d rather dance on hot coals.
You’ll never get me bungee jumping.
I’ll leave that to braver souls.

Flying with a jetpack on my back.
Is definitely a hobby I’ll elude.
You’ll never get me up in a hot air balloon.
Even if you asked me nicely, I’d have to be quite rude.

These things scare the life out of me.
I couldn’t be a tree surgeon for a million quid
Rather than climb a fireman’s ladder.
I’d sleep on a bed of nails, God forbid.

Thick socks are about as high as I want to get
At a push I’ll climb some stairs
I am looking to move to a bungalow
Any taller and I’ll get nightmares.

Clearly, it’s the fear of heights.
That prevents me doing these deeds.
I just get really nervous.
And have to pray with rosary beads.