How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
You can stop all that now.
I’m very busy these days.

How much do you love me?
How much do you care?
Will you stop with the questions,
While I’m trying to dry my hair.

Love is like the wind,
You can’t see it, but you can feel it.
You’ll feel this in a minute.
You silly old half-wit.

So, I love you because the entire universe
Conspired to help me find you.
That’ll do now, thank you.
Will you go and make me a brew.

You are my heart, my life,
My one and only thought.
I’ve just looked in the garage
What the hell have you bought?

How do you spell ‘love’?
You don’t spell it…you feel it.
You’re really into this feely thing,
Aren’t you, you annoying twit.

Look after my heart,
I’ve left it with you.
I went to TESCO earlier.
You should have seen the queue.

Love is an irresistible desire
To be irresistibly desired.
I’ve got absolutely no idea,
How your tiny brain is wired.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy
Asking him to love her.
I’m having a pint later with the lads.
Will you be my chauffeur?