My car is on bricks. The windscreen’s gone.
I’m told it was trashed by a scally called John.
If I get hold of the sod I’ll swing for him I will.
Using his terminology, the feeling will be brill.

If I trashed his house he’d be pretty miffed.
He can give but not take if you get my drift.
Oh, how I’d enjoy stealing his designer stuff.
I’d have no qualms leaving him in the buff.

Public humiliation is a fitting retribution.
That way he’ll surely earn his absolution.
Stripped bare of his expensive designer gear.
Might turn him away from a thieving career.

Designer gear John I’m coming for you, you swine.
I’ll steal all your Calvin Klein.
Designer gear John I’ll catch you, it will be messy.
I’m going to steal your Ellesse.
Designer gear John I’ll get you, you won’t know when.
I’ll strip you of your Ralph Lauren.
Designer gear John I’ll be knocking you to the floor
I’ll trash all your wonderful Dior.
Designer gear John I’ll be sending you my respects
By stamping on your lovely Rolex.