(using the names of 40 of the 852 Wetherspoons’ pubs)

I was in attendance at Captain Ridley’s Shooting Party,
Enjoying a tankard of Bobbing John and feeling hearty.
Friar Penketh was there along with Sir John Baker.
Unsurprisingly he was chanting praise be to my maker.
Me and The Knights Templar discussed Pilgrim’s Progress.
I simply can’t remember why I must honestly confess.
In hat and feathers we were staring into the Looking Glass.
Patently waiting for The Prior John to say High Mass.
Later when we were in front of The Chief Justice of the Common Pleas,
The Bell rang in The Water House and Bishop Blaize fell to his knees.
Later Admiral Collingwood was arrested outside of Tanner’s Hall.
This was the catalyst that led to David Garrick’s unceremonious downfall.
Meet in the Society Rooms, said Thomas Sheraton to John Francis Basset.
With William Robert Loosley and Ran Wartha they discussed every facet.
We made our way to The Ferry Boat where we met with the Jolly Sailor,
And he effused about The Grand Electric Hall and his time on a whaler.
Conversing with General Sir Redvers Buller of The Kingswood Colliers,
We let slip about The Back of Beyond and we couldn’t have been sorrier.
The King was in his Counting House checking his Diamond Tap,
When a Highland Laddie passed Calvert’s Court wearing the Bishop’s Cap.
Henry Bessemer, the Navigator, returned from the Furness Railway.
He’d been at The Monk’s Retreat and was now predicting doomsday.
Finally, Robert Fitzharding was exchanging a Penny Black for a Banker’s Draft,
Over Asparagus, Wild Boar and Wishaw Malt and a couple of tankards of draft.