Rub your hair with Brylcreem.
Comb it through twice.
Make it into a duck’s arse.
The girls will think that’s nice.

Splash on some Hai Karate.
Maybe even some Old Spice.
Don’t be sparing, whack it on.
The girls will think that’s nice.

Put on that lemon body cream.
Don’t care about the price.
You’ll smell like a Gin and Tonic.
The girls will think that’s nice.

Try some Brut or Denim.
You’ll feel as cool as ice.
Wear that colourful tank-top.
The girls will think that’s nice.

Smooth on the Vitalis hair tonic
Splash some musk is my advice
What’s that you say? Really?
The girls were gone in a trice?