Some places have unusual names.
They’re the ones that make you think twice.
You can interpret them in different ways.
And some of them aren’t that nice.

If you get offended by any of these
Please show some self-reflection.
I’m just taking them from a road map,
You’re the one making a connection.

The New Forest has Sandy Balls,
And Breconshire has Three Cocks.
If you’re in Slack Bottom in Calderdale
I’d make an appointment to see the Docs.

There’s a Twatt in Orkney,
And a Brown Willy in Northern Cornwall
There's a Knobb by Falmouth.
Bullyhole Bottom’s not far from Porthcawl.

There’s Shitterton in Dorset
And Cock Alley’s not far off Derby.
Pishill is in Henley-upon-Thames,
If you’re in Wetwang I’d move on sharply.

The Cock of Arran and Upper Ramsbottom,
Are not places to go without pants.
Bell End is a village by Worcester.
While Titty Ho is the pride of Northants.

If you’re making rude connections,
Please don’t hold me responsible.
All I’ve done it read you a map.
It’s you making them anatomical.