I’m keen to start a trend
and to break new ground.
I want to set the world on fire
with something quite profound.

I’ll introduce a fashion
for painting your ears red.
Two vivid red shell-likes.
I’ll watch that fashion spread.

Maybe a reverse Mohican.
A bald stripe down the centre.
I’ll name it the Baldican.
I’ll be acclaimed as it’s inventor.

Perhaps a trend for wearing
a cufflink in your left earlobe.
Harlequin tattoo on my forehead
matching my wardrobe.

Wellington boots with open toes
in different shades of blue.
Some could be bejewelled.
Wow, what a breakthrough?

I’ll be the new Vivienne Westwood,
avant-garde and boundary pushing.
Before long I’ll be knighted.
I’ll be wearing wellies and blushing.