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Damned Auto-correct
Damned Auto-correct

Instead of Hello Frank I once wrote Hell Frank.
This scared the wits out of my workfellow.
This damned auto-correct malarky,
Is no way to keep a colleague mellow.

I’m having my ears micro suctioned,
Became I’m having my ears auctioned,
And I greatly value our friendship,
Became I’d really love a deep-fried chip.

I just sold my beautiful blue car,
Turned into I just sold grandma,
And grandma is home from hospital,
Became my grandpa is inhospitable.

My good friend speaks Portuguese,
Transformed to my friend loves pork and cheese,
The film, Fantastic Beasts and Where to find them,
Turned into fantastic breasts and where to sign them.

When I wrote ‘predictive text’ for this poem,
It was auto-corrected to predictive sex.
Yet another shock for my innocent colleague.
Clearly, I’m going to have to do more checks.

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