Who are these people who decide words?
Like things that fly they call birds?
Who said more than one foot should be called feet,
and decided a lavatory should have a toilet seat?
And then there’s hippopotamus, who dreamt up that,
and decided cricket should be played with a bat?
Who was it who decreed jam is kept in a jar,
and the thing we drive around in should be called a car?
And who said we do drawings using a pencil,
and do all our cooking with a kitchen utensil?
Don’t get me started on colours. Who thought up yellow?
And who was it who said you can call a bloke a fellow?
Do they just think up words and draw them out of a hat?
It seems to me it all comes down to that.
So, if the job is advertised, please give me a tweet.
I reckon that position would be right up my street.