Said the Prince to Emily Maitlis,
I do like Pizza, but I can’t perspire.
I don’t remember that girl at all,
But it was nice of you to enquire.

Jeffrey Epstein wasn’t a friend,
More of an acquaintance really.
And as for Ghislaine Maxwell,
She just hosted, quite freely.

That photograph is misleading.
I know it’s been faked and edited.
That’s not my hand on her waist.
I’m sure it’s been discredited.

I’m stepping back from my duties,
To not cause pain to the institution.
No more uniformed events for me,
But I won’t be heading for destitution.

Perhaps I’ll return one day soon,
And I can pick up where I left off.
It’ll be nice to be accepted again,
And have my nose back in the trough.

But for now I’ll stay in the shadows.
I’ll avoid those who might be a threat.
I’ll be careful choosing my friends.
And I’ll avoid young women, no sweat!